literature

Payne's Grey I

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DNA-The-Authoress's avatar
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Literature Text

Payne's Grey
dolphins take refuge as the
ocean is whipped up into a frenzy beneath
hulking thunderheads.
Gulls' screams join in chorus
with the howling wind
as the waves collapse upon themselves.
The salt spray and
smoke from the sinking galleon
are suffocating.
Fallen sailors find their clothes suddenly heavy
as icy torrents drag them beneath the roiling surface.
The air tingles with the electricity of
a lightning bolt waiting to strike.
Hello, all! Some of you may be gasping and thinking, "What!?! Two submissions in as many days? What sorcery is this!?"

And I shall tell you- writer's block. XD Or at least, I'm stuck on this. Something is bugging me about this. I'm thinking about just cheating on the format and cutting out a chunk of this. What do you guys think? Should I only edit this slightly, do a complete re-haul, or leave it as is?

For those of you who are wondering, this is a colour poem. For more about it, visit my other colour poem here: [link]
© 2012 - 2024 DNA-The-Authoress
Comments13
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curlscat's avatar
I like the opening more than the ending, but I don't know why. Up through 'as the waves ... themselves' it's absolutely stellar, and I wish I had a way to help you improve the end.